Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Mind over matter

So I've been thinking about this whole Mind or Heart thing because it's something I'm currently dealing with. And it seriously puzzled the hell out of me.
So basically people always told me to follow my heart and not to listen to anyone but myself because it's my very own happiness. Listening to your heart seems to be the right choice. Not giving up on people you love, and not letting them go. But what happens when those people are the ones who bring all the drama and sadness to your life? Do you still choose to stick around through the worse? You ask yourself the same question everyday, would you prefer to suffer while you're with them or feel miserable for not listening to your heart and being miserable without them?
Well let me tell you something, between someone you love and who doesn't treat you right, or someone who treats you like a princess and who doesn't own your heart, you would be stupid to choose either one of them.
You can't be with someone if you're still thinking about the previous one, and if you didn't get the closure you need. Trying to get over someone by dating another person is a pure waste of time. Eventually you're going to end up friend zoning the poor guy.
And when the person you love treats you like a piece of crap and makes you feel worthless, leaves you in a very uncivilized way and hangs you on for months , then waltzes back into your life and expects you to be fine and act like nothing ever happened, you're going to fucking act like nothing ever happened. And you're going to choose the path of the heart. But that's just wrong, because by giving them the chance to come back to your life you are giving them the opportunity of ruining your life again, specially when you realize they didn't change the second they talked to you. They will never ever change.
Months. Your words have come real, all those dark seconds minutes hours days you put me through. I tried giving chances until now, but in this very moment I can't reach out to meet your words, you are making it go. Your words did and are still going through my veins, but the difference now is that they're leaving as soon as they came. I won't feel a thing anymore.
Thank you for never saying what I thought I deserved to hear back then, Thank you for making me love myself without even doing a thing.
Unless you do something about it, I am choosing the mind, because being with someone who doesn't treat you right is not called love anymore, its called stupidity. And stupidity goes against all the principles I chose to stick to in my life.
Because its mind over matter. I don't mind, and you WON'T matter.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Tripoli, the forgotten city.

The past few days were full of bad news in The Arab World; threat of using chemical weapons in Syria, the new revolution in Egypt, but worst of all the regretful clashes taking place in the city where I reside: Tripoli.
Here's a brief introduction about the history of this wonderful city; it is the home of the largest fortress in Lebanon, but it couldn't protect itself from the violence. It is the second largest Mamluk City in architectural heritage, but yet homes and buildings are being distorted and destroyed because of the bullets and shells. It was ruled by almost all the civilizations; the Phenicians, Assyrians, Persians, Romans, Byzantians, Caliphates, Suljukians, Crusadors, Mamluks, Ottomans and France. Those civilizations brought important breakthroughs to this city and made it a very important spot in the Middle East.
Today, politicians (Lebanese, Arab and Western) are supplying the poorest percentage of the Tripolitan population with arms, and are paying the illiterate and uneducated to sabotage the peace that we longed and are still longing for for so long. Note that Bab El Tebbaneh and Jabal Mohsen were once brothers and sisters and lived together in peace for a long period of time. Fifty years ago they were the home of the richest and most educated families. Why are they shooting, throwing bombs, and depriving their children and our children from stability? From peace? Why are they sending their children off to die and denying them their right of education, their chance of becoming good citizens who might actually make our "land" a better place to live? I insist on the term "land" because this is not a country, like Ziyad El Rahbany said "This is not a country, this is a group of people put together." Even the word "put together" doesn't suit us because we are not united, we are divided.
"United we stand, divided we fall." Well this looks pretty much like falling. We haven't slept in days. Bullets, shells, bombs, snipers.. They invaded the streets, got out of the hot spots and took over the center of the city. 3 bombs hit Azmi and Nadim El Jisr streets, which are the dynamic spots of Tripoli's economy. Some people ran away, some went to hide at their neighbours, some went down to the parkings to hide in fear of a missile breaking through our helpless walls and windows.
As I am writing this, sounds of bullets are being heard. They numbed us with them, we actually think it's normal if we only hear sounds of bullets.
90% of the Tripolitans don't want this to happen, they are victims of dumb people who want to deliver regional messages on our depend. And the worst is that the media abandoned our case and is completely ignoring the deteriorating situation here. No breaking news, no nothing, just a bunch of citizens tweeting and facebooking what is happening around them, and I thank them cause otherwise I wouldn't know what was happening. Aren't we Lebanese? Or did you erase us from the map? You are choosing to show silly commercials and series instead of facts happening because you are paid for it. If we don't pay you, do you choose to go against all the principles of journalism, against the promise you made to the world, against the interest of the country? What is more precious than the blood of our people being shed? Isn't that a price too expensive to be paid? Soumal TV was showing at 4AM what was happening here, while you were asleep or chose to show stupid Mexican, Turkish drama. If it were for another city all the media would have covered what was happening for the past 5 nights. During Ashrafiyeh bombing we were all in front of our TVs watching every single detail of what was occurring. SHAME ON YOU LEBANESE MEDIA.
I am not saying they shouldn't cover other things, and I am definitely not wishing the expansion of this crisis to other Lebanese cities. All that I want is for the media to cover this "war" as it is, and not to picture it as sectarian clashes while we all know it is way bigger than this.
We do exist, we are alive for now, we are as Lebanese as someone from Beirut, South, Mount Lebanon or Bekaa. We want to live, and we want the world to know what is going on. Don't ignore us.
God bless our beloved city.